“Will Gwyneth Paltrow Finally Get Her Own ‘Iron Man’ Suit?” - Hollywood Prospectus Blog - Grantland (via absurdlakefront / jasmined)
Necessary Features for a Gwyneth Paltrow Iron Man Suit:
- Onboard 18,000-RPM Breville juicer
- In-flight Jarvis™ cyber-concierge personalized with Chris Martin’s voice
- Integrated Pinterest account
- Gesture-activated red-pepper enema cleanse
- Dual-chambered torso wine decanter
I legit just researched this, because I know fuck all about the Iron Man mythos, and turns out Pepper Potts does indeed get her own suit, and hero title: “Rescue”, after she gets fucked up in some shrapnel, and then gets rebuilt. Ergo, now I need to see Gwyneth get fucked up in Iron Man 3, so that she can find her inner super-hero via a bowel cleanse, or off-the-hook poached quail recipe. You better watch out, under-catered afternoon lady-soiree’s.